“How can you explain a feeling in one word”

A wise woman (aka Jignasha = 1 of our amazing coordinators) once said “How can you explain a feeling in one word” in response to me asking her if she could describe how she was feeling about InSPIRE in one word…. (in my defense it was for presentation purposes – finished product is pending)

Anyway, I was just reminded of that when we were preparing for our closing ceremony in Delhi and we each had to share something in response to the question “What have you learned from InSPIRE? ” . I quickly jotted mine down so I wouldn’t trip over my words like I usually do. Here is what came out:

This trip has taught me two things that I will definitely carry with me forever – to care and not to care. I have learned to care so deeply about issues that I barely devoted any of  my brain power to before. I am constantly questioning myself to make sure my passion is not just on the surface and not just motivated by my immediate to reaction to things and I can assure myself (because in the end, who else really needs to be assured) that it is not. I have learned, seen, and discussed topics that will remain close to my heart and will hopefully guide my future thoughts and actions.

So…now for the not caring part. I don’t mean apathy or blissful ignorance but fearlessness. Starting with very basic things which have made an impact on me despite their simplicity. I have learned to play frisbee in the rain and mud and not cared about getting dirty; I have learned to bathe in a freezing cold stream after hiking a leech infested path….at 5am;  I have learned to sing loudly to myself for myself.

This trip, this experience, and these people mean more to me than I can express in words.  Yes,  I do realize that a lot of what I say sounds a bit drastic and driven by emotion and maybe even a little “cheesy” but…I feel it. And that is validation enough for me right now. I don’t think I even realize yet how I have changed but I look forward to finding out.

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6 Comments to ““How can you explain a feeling in one word””

  1. Jiggy is my hero!

  2. Beautiful writing Apu.
    Everything you have written on your trip is just amazing.
    I cannot wait to see you in person and learn more about your trip.
    See you soon

  3. I really like your perspective on “not caring”, very refreshing! Makes you really think about what’s “important” and what you value and why, no? I think it’s so awesome that you allowed yourself to grow through such an experience and in the way that you did and deeply appreciate how your self puts things together.

  4. I can’t wait to find out how I’ve changed either. This trip was amazing, and I have a feeling that the things we learned won’t just disappear like other intense experiences do after time passes by. I have a feeling this is going to stick forever!

  5. Aps,
    I’m glad we’ve got each other to stay Inspired.
    Love,
    Me

  6. Sounds like you all had an amazing trip! looking forward to reading more about it =)

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